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You CAN change your past

“Spirit Speaks” continued…

Most of you who have ever been to a spiritual retreat, know that it takes some home time to realize all that had just happened. Meditation and journaling are always a good way to remember and articulate your immediate thoughts.
But time brings awareness to the surface.

These were my revelations:
1.) A dream that gave me a totally new perspective
2.) A heart chakra process that helps in healing relationships, without words.
3.) I CAN change the past. (How do I do that, I hear you asking).

If we understand that all life’s circumstances are teaching points where we grow and become better equipped for the next similar situation.
NOW your past becomes a positive insight.
The awareness moves us forward NOT backward.
Obviously, if we don’t learn from the lesson we will have to experience it again and again.
This in itself helps me to know that it’s all GOoD.

I am grateful for my remarkable journey.
I’m even more thankful for having written much of my life lessons in my memoir, (even if it’s just for me to remember).
Here is the last chapter in Forgetting to Fly which reflects the above message.

Chapter 32: Flying Again

I was meant to fly… I know that now.
I have been broken in my life, mislead and submerged. I have failed and made mistakes. I have resisted God’s nudges, which doubled my pain. I have fought the undercurrent, using all my energy to move onward against the natural flow of my life. This has been an exhausting effort, like flapping my wings against hurricane winds that left me damaged and blown off course. Would I change anything? Perhaps, but then I wouldn’t have learned my important life lessons.

 I know now that when you hold something down for a long time, then release it, the natural reaction is to elevate lifeward again. This is God’s never ending grace. This life force, which cannot be seen, has lifted me again and again. I have bloomed where I was planted.
(Flowers do grow in cracks of cement.)

I have bled and healed.
I have suffocated and breathed.
I have lost and gained.
I have been worn down, only to be lifted up again.
This has been my human journey.
The enemy has tried to hold me down, but God never let me go.

There is a deep reward for forgetting to fly.
For now I remember.
I remember that I have been saved, time and time again.
I remember how I have been led, directed, and persuaded to dig myself out of the holes I dug for myself. If I had kept flying I would not have stumbled and learned my life lessons.

I realize there has been an underlying current that is much stronger than me, and, if I don’t struggle, just relax in it, I will be led to places I never dreamed of. With this invisible force in my life and my willingness to give myself to it, my life will soar in the direction I am meant to go… finally.

Oh, there will still be love and fear, pleasure and sorrow, but, like a bird rising on a current of air, I will surrender to the Creator’s plan for my life, and I know that plan is UP.

 As I run my hand over the fullness of my wings, I realize how ruffled and battered they feel. They have flown against the wind for so long the feathers are not smooth anymore. I feel the misplaced, twisted plumage and work to straighten it out. As I move the feathers back into place, I feel their appreciation. It seems as though each feather rises to meet my hand with gratitude. I hadn’t understood that wings even had feelings
until now. 
It surprises me. 
I am compelled to hold the wings close to my chest and I feel the flow of something alive. They are alive. It has been a long time. 

How could I have forgotten?ng to fly, for now I remember. I remember how I have been saved, time and time again. I remember how I have been led, directed, and persuaded to dig myself out of the holes I dug for myself. If I had kept flying I would not have stumbled and

These feathery extensions are a part of me. I have held them down for so long they have become withered, even atrophied. I hold them even closer and their heart beats with mine. It is mine. They plump with my affection, my attention. Like holding a bird with a broken wing, scared, but ready to be healed. They slowly open, so each feather is exposed, stretching like we do in the morning, getting ready for the day (the flight) ahead.

I thought my time on earth was burdened with the inability to fly. I knew I was meant to soar and lift up out of the world’s tempting hold, but enticement stalled my flight. The allure brought me down. Yet somehow, I always knew.

I look up and see the brilliant blue sky and puffy white clouds and I feel an intense longing for a higher perspective. The world has tried to drag me down. This realization has opened my mind, my heart, and my wings. I have truly unfolded in this lifetime. I have become stronger because of my trials and I feel grateful.

 I stand tall and open my wings, which have spread to an impressive span. I lean into an unknown future. Nothing is holding me back. My knowing has a lift that can no longer keep me down. Something inside me is about to break ground. I look up, and before I realize it, I am moving toward the vast openness of possibility.

 As I look back I see the earth that once held me down. It is small and brown, with sediment that holds tightly to the core. The gravity seems merciless now and I remember the mire of earthly treasures.
The weight of the world is behind me now.
I move upward, knowing that wherever my flight will lead, I am free to fly.



Author Tamlin

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